Details of the winners of the 100 Club for 2019 can now be found on the Archive page.
There are usually 4 prizes per month, with the exception of May and November each year when we draw 9 prizes.
Standard Month Twice Yearly 1st prize = £20 £150 2nd prize = £10 £75 3rd prize = £5 £50 4th prize = £5 £25 5th Prize £10 6th Prize £10 7th Prize £10 8th Prize £10 9th Prize £10 There are about 20 unused numbers in the 100 Club.
So, if you don’t currently take part in the 100 Club but would like to help the club raise much needed money, please get in touch with Una Whale or Jane Taylor as soon as possible to make sure you don’t miss out.
Four bowlers were out on the Green practising. As one of them was about to bowl at the 15th end, which was next to a busy road, they saw a funeral procession go by. Instead of bowling, the bowler removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed. At this point, the other three said, “You know, that was the most touching thing I’ve ever seen”. And the bowler answers, “Well, I was married to her for 15 years. It was the least I could do !”
I got a new set of bowls for the wife last week ! Best deal I’ve made in years.
Blessed are they who can play sport; Blessed are they who can still be taught; Blessed are they who accept with grace To pay in any selected place !!
Q : What do you do with someone who can’t draw, can’t roll the jack, can’t set the mat, can’t keep score and won’t listen ? A : Make them skip.
Lead : How much am I short ? Skip : You ought to know. You’re nearer to it than I am.
A little old man boards a bus with a bowling wood in each of his front pockets. He sits down next to a beautiful young lady, and she can’t help but glance quizzically at the man and his bulging pockets. There’s an uneasy few minutes before, finally, the old man can take no more. “Bowling balls”, he says reassuringly. The lady seems a little shocked, and the stares on. Moments later she says : “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow ?”
Sign on the door of a vet’s waiting room : “Back in five minutes, Sit, Stay”.
At an optician’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
On a maternity room door: “Push, Push, Push”.
In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait”.
A sign in the non-smoking area of a restaurant: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action”.
And on the side of a plumber’s van : “We repair what your husband fixed.”
Another slogan on the van of a plumbing company; “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call a plumber”.
Right now I’m suffering from amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant ?“
The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know ! The one that’s red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose ?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night ?”
Affiliated to Bowls England and the Kent County Bowls Association