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Members News

  • Coffee Mornings

    The next coffee morning will be on
    Wednesday, 17th October, 2018
    at 10 a.m.
    in the Club House

    tea-&-cakes
  • 100 Club

    January  2018

    February 2018

    March 2018

    1st

    Barbara Ward

    1st

    Geoff Kemp

    1st

    J & M Collins

    2nd

    Marilyn Sayer

    2nd

    Ruth Verrall

    2nd

    Peter Hearn

    3rd

    Gerald Hemmings

    3rd

    Lilian Bridewell

    3rd

    Ken Green

    4th

    Lilian Bridewell

    4th

    Norman Dale

    4th

    Una Whale

     

     

     

     

     

     

    April 2018

    May 2018

    June 2018

    1st

    Mick Bridewell

    1st

    Pierre Fox

    1st

    Gerald Hemmings

    2nd

    Andy Bryant

    2nd

    Brian George

    2nd

    Lilian Bridewell

    3rd

    Kay Green

    3rd

    Jane Taylor

    3rd

    Brian George

    4th

    Olive Came

    4th

    Barbara Ward

    4th

    CAJ Chubb

     

     

    5th

    Mary Freemantle

     

     

     

     

    6th

    Ken Sadler

     

     

     

     

    7th

    Debbie Stearman

     

     

     

     

    8th

    Mike Harries

     

     

     

     

    9th

    Joy-Ann Hemmings

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    July 2018

    August 2018

    September 2018

    1st

    D Young

    1st

    David Taylor

    1st

     

    2nd

    Jill Sadler

    2nd

    J&M Collins

    2nd

     

    3rd

    Janet Simpson

    3rd

    Ken Green

    3rd

     

    4th

    J&M Collins

    4th

    Jill Sadler

    4th

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    October 2018

    November 2018

    December 2018

    1st

     

    1st

     

    1st

     

    2nd

     

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    3rd

     

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    8th

     

     

     

     

     

    9th

     

     

     

    Details of the winners of the 100 Club for 2017 can now be found on the Archive page.

    There are usually 4 prizes per month, with the exception of May and November each year when we draw 9 prizes.

    Standard Month         Twice Yearly
    1st prize = £20                    £150
    2nd prize = £10                   £75
    3rd prize = £5                      £50
    4th prize = £5                      £25
    5th Prize                              £10
    6th Prize                              £10
    7th Prize                              £10
    8th Prize                              £10
    9th Prize                              £10
    There are about a dozen unused numbers in the 100 Club.

    So, if you don’t currently take part in the 100 Club but would like to help the club raise much needed money, please get in touch with Ken Sadler as soon as possible to make sure you don’t miss out.

    100-club
  • Rules of Bowls

    To download a copy of “The Rules of Bowls”,  please click on this link.

    bowls-13
  • Dress Code

    1.   All players must be dressed in white from the waist upwards in all sessions of play.

    2.   Grey or white skirt/trousers/shorts shall be worn by the ladies.

    3.   Grey or white trousers/shorts with white socks shall be worn by the men.

    4.   Although shorts may be worn for home matches, permission would be needed to wear them at other clubs when playing away.

    5.   Shoes must be heelless and flat-soled.  They may be brown, grey or white.

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  • Humour

    Bowling Humour

    Four bowlers were out on the Green practising.  As one of them was about to bowl at the 15th end, which was next to a busy road, they saw a funeral procession go by.  Instead of bowling, the bowler removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.
    At this point, the other three said, “You know, that was the most touching thing I’ve ever seen”.
    And the bowler answers, “Well, I was married to her for 15 years.  It was the least I could do !”

    I got a new set of bowls for the wife last week !  Best deal I’ve made in years.

    Blessed are they who can play sport;
    Blessed are they who can still be taught;
    Blessed are they who accept with grace
    To pay in any selected place !!

    Q :  What do you do with someone who can’t draw, can’t roll the jack, can’t set the mat, can’t keep score and won’t listen ?
    A :   Make them skip.

    Lead :   How much am I short ?
    Skip :   You ought to know.  You’re nearer to it than I am.


    A little old man boards a bus with a bowling wood in each of his front pockets.
    He sits down next to a beautiful young lady, and she can’t help but glance quizzically at the man and his bulging pockets.  There’s an uneasy few minutes before, finally, the old man can take no more.
    “Bowling balls”, he says reassuringly.
    The lady seems a little shocked, and the stares on.  Moments later she says :  “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow ?”
     

    General Humour

    • Sign on the door of a vet’s waiting room :  “Back in five minutes, Sit, Stay”.
    • At an optician’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
    • On a maternity room door: “Push, Push, Push”.
    • In the front yard of a funeral home:   “Drive carefully. We’ll wait”.
    • A sign in the non-smoking area of a restaurant: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action”.
    • And on the side of a plumber’s van : “We repair what your husband fixed.”
    • Another slogan on the van of a plumbing company; “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call a plumber”.
    • Right now I’m suffering from amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

    An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.  I would recommend it very highly.”

    The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant ?“

    The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know !  The one that’s red and has thorns.”

    “Do you mean a rose ?”

    “Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night ?”

KNOCKHOLT BOWLING CLUB

Affiliated to Bowls England and the Kent County Bowls Association

Copyright :   Knockholt Bowling Club 2015 - 2018